[JuX.ThE.SamE.oLd.eLmo`\___x];BEWARE OF CARS, THEY BANG PEOPLE DOWN

.Sunday, March 19, 2006 ' 7:41 PM Y

i love being around you

Recently i mentioned i will not blog any feelings here,
well i take back what i said because today was so SCREWED UP.
I am going to use this blog to rant all my $%#&@^

Firstly i had to wake up to go to the graveyard.
for what i have no idea, my grandparents. well thank u
grandma and grandpa i think i'v never seen u all my life.
so whatsup with me going down.
Out of more than 10 cousins, there was only 3 of us.
my brother, 1 cousin and me.
WHY DON'T THE REST NEED TO GO?
mummy says go down to pay freaking respect and show face.
BUT WHY DON'T I SEE OTHER PEOPLE DOING THAT?
I do pay respect but i don't know what for.

Secondly i think i am just a big idiot.
before going some where, i fail to clarify the details
and blindly, i just make my way down and end up in dispair
'Oh sorry, why not u go home and get it'
DAMN IT I WENT THERE, BUT I BROUGHT THE WRONG THING.
and i had to walk all the way home just to get it.

Thirdly i think i am very 'clever' on the other hand
I sprained my ankle 4 days ago.
and clever me just decided to play soccer.
for what? to keep my mind pre-occupied.
and yes, i hurt my ankle again.
now its swollen like a big watermelon.
hell, IT HURTS

Forthly i think im going to die.
because of some reasons i shall not say.

Fifthly i hate this life of mine.
i seriously hate it, nothings coming my way.
it was all so perfect, but until clever me had to blabber rubbish.
thats the biggest mistake i'v made, but what
do i have a choice not to regret?
it just stated 'GAME OVER' please insert token
apparently mummy didn't give me enought money for another token.
so what if i went back, in the end i still have to leave eventually.
i seriously don't know what to do.
heard the song 'as a deer' well it states something about a blind person i think
i guess thats refering to me, but i have yet to see.
this is just so screwed up. but what can i do about it.
God said in Acts verse ? : ? ,
Ask and u shall be given to you,
Seek and u shall find,
knock and it shall be opened onto you.
Well Dear Lord, i pray that everything will just come my way
you know what my heart desires, i miss it.
you know i do.
and i really hope u will answer my prayer.
i know, believe in miracles but don't depend on them.

[`\___Jux.ThE.SamE.oLd.eLmo`\___x]
-dilemma
-Dear Lord stand by me, be with me

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